LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - After lots and lots of months, Melania Trump finally reveals the real reason why she left Donaldo.
The estranged Mrs. Trump, who has been dating up a storm with an NBA super star with the L.A. Lakers told New News News Agency writer Cleopatra Dishmaker that she did not leave Donaldo because he's a pussy grabber (which he is) or because he's a Nazi lover (which he is) or even because he swindled every American tax payer out of billions of dollars (which the MoFo did).
Melly, as L.J. calls her, left the evil Russian puppet because he refused to stop drinking vodka at all fucking hours of the day and night (her words).
Melania said that her ugly as skunk crap asshole husband has now ballooned up to 367¼.
