Despite it being a communist country, Ted Cruz has bought land in Cuba. A paparazzi photographed Cruz on his knees on his new piece of land, weeping, saying “I’m home, papa, I’m finally home.”
Why has Cruz more and more changed his appearance to look like Fidel Castro, and who is this “papa” he refers to? Has Cancun softened his icy heart to return to his true homeland and embrace the great worker’s paradise and despise the filthy American decadent state?
Can’t say, and Ted won’t say. But when retirement comes, Ted will finally have a place to build his dream home and lay down his politician’s cap and swing in a hammock tied to a palm tree, looking over the water in the direction of Key West … he shall dream of a new revolution, where Cuba takes over America, and there will be cigars for all!
