Congress looking at Zelensky performance art instead of honorary bust; Biden delighted

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 9 February 2023

image for Congress looking at Zelensky performance art instead of honorary bust; Biden delighted
Representative Tobias Nod is now being applauded in congress

A resolution introduced by Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) to honor Ukraine's president Volodomyr Zelensky will be delayed at this time.

The idea was to establish a bust of Mr. Zelensky's head, mounted in a “suitable, permanent location” at the House of Representatives side of the U.S. Capitol.

As to what to inscribe on this tribute, the words “Hero. Fighter. Leader. Dancer Extraordinaire. Husband. Father. Entertainer. Spiritual Man" are being considered.

Not all representatives are happy with this idea, and its cost, but one of them, Tobias Nod (R-state unknown), has stepped forward with another possibility.

This alternative is gaining ground, especially with President Biden, who is reported very impressed with Mr. Zelensky's talents.

Prior to assuming leadership in Ukraine, Mr. Zelensky was a comedian and musician. Why not request a concert at The White House?

Photographs on the net show Mr. Zelensky from the rear, with pants down around his ankles and leaning in toward a grand piano keyboard.

His skill with one particular appendage, not his hands, is amazing. His audience loved the performance!

Twitter is already ablaze with enthusiasm with comments such as “Zelensky may be a ding-a-ling, but he sure can play keyboards with his ding-a-ling!”

It is thought this feat would bring him more tributes as with his recent “man of the year” award from Time Magazine.

It might also bring more donations to him and his associates for the war against Russia.

Next, the question has become what musical composition should he perform?

Suggestions:

”Oh When the Saints Come Marching In”

“Let it Be”

Chopin's "Waltz No. 1 in E-flat, Opus 18, Grand Valse Brillante"

This last, a classical piece, is favored as “dignified and the most versatile possibility for performance dexterity."

Congress is reported excited at replacing the bust idea in this manner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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