BILLINGSGATE POST: Correct me if I’m right. But how can it be wrong when it feels so right?
Life is full of conundrums, some more puzzling than others. Who’s to judge what is right or wrong? A better question: Who should be the final arbiter regarding questions that drive mad men crazy and crazy men mad?
The answer is simple: Ask Dr. Billingsgate.
For years, the simple-minded holder of an unprecedented twelve doctorates has gone to his book of knowledge to answer questions that have withstood the test of time, unanswerable and unanswered.
When Hillary Clinton asked how to keep her randy husband down on the farm, Dr. B suggested crazy-gluing his testicles to the bed frame; a simple solution to one of life’s more vexing problems.
BINGO! A Pulitzer Prize for Dr. B in the category of “Love Advice For Wayward Termagants.”
And now, with the ChiComs floating balloons across our borders, what is the answer? Is it a clear provocation, or could it be just a simple coincidence that might be explained by the fact that Xi Jinping had a birthday party on a windy day and one of the balloons broke loose?
Ask Dr. Billingsgate.
Cosmologically speaking, Space and Time are “Illusions.” By and large, quantum objects can be mysteriously correlated even if they are separated by large distances. The inscrutable Chinese, by running this balloon through a space wormhole that tunneled through the universe, quite by accident, found the United States. By doing so, it has been determined, that in a so-called 2-dimensional toy universe, shit happens. The scientific term for this is “entanglement.”
Properly understood, entanglement implies that the universe is “monistic,” that is; everything in the universe is part of a single, unified whole. Accordingly, an entangled state is the superposition of all possible combinations that the components of a composed object can be in to produce the same result. In other words, everything that can happen actually happens. Therefore, shoot the sumbitch down.
Dr. Slim: “That explains everything.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. If that theory is correct, how can it be wrong if it feels so right?”
