MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Information guru Andy Cohen says he recently talked to Ivanka Trump over the phone.
He noted that she sounded better than ever about herself, her marriage, and the price of gasoline.
Cohen asked her if she ever talks to her daddy.
"Hell no, hell fucking no!" She shot back.
Ivanka commented that why in the world would she want to talk to a person who has become the most hated individual in the United States since Benedict Arnold.
Cohen remarked that she does have a point and wondered if she can ever forgive him.
Ivanka paused and said that the fucking Pacific Ocean will entirely dry up first.
