Little known fact: Marjorie Taylor Greene’s daddy was a sweetheart! He often serenaded the women he fell in love with – happened every drunken Fourth of July – and he got so good at it, he started writing swooning songs to try to get into a gal’s panties.
Boy did it work! This man could rival the song-writing skills of Huey Scroggins, Elmer P. Ffucksake, or the great, Ella-May Snotblocker.
At the GOP music archives – where they keep all the happy songs composed by the Klan and other terrorist groups who need something peppy to march to in their jackboots, Skeeter “Ted” Greene’s lost songs have been discovered – and we have one of them!
Be warned: we believe this is the song sung to get Marjorie’s mama to drop her drawers for a roll in the hay in the pig barn, so … don’t be surprised if you’re feeling amorous by the end of it. Sing along if you can stomach it!
Pigfucker Blues
My names Farmer Ted
And I never go to bed
I hang out in the shed
Drive nails into my head
‘Cuz I’m a pig fucker
A sow sucker
When I see that swine
I gotta make her mine
I’m a pig fucker, baby
Wanna taste my rabies
I go out to the barn
Tell myself a little yarn
Ain’t doin’ no one harm
Putting on the charm
I get into the sty
She’s givin’ me the eye
I never ask why
Just gotta give it a try
I’m droppin’ my britches
When she catches, I pitches
All them sexy pig bitches
Gonna put me in stitches
That’s some hot swine
On her I always dine
With some grease and grime
And a bottle of moonshine
I likes my pork
On my dick and on my fork
Before I pop my cork
I’ll take her to New York
‘Cuz I’m a pig fucker
A sow sucker
When I see that swine
I gotta make her mine
I’m a pig fucker, baby
Wanna taste my rabies
… and that’s how Marjorie Taylor Greene was born …
