BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - The Scuttlebutt Review reports that Sen. Marjorie Taylor Greene was arrested in a Baltimore Malwart by a store greeter.
SR reporter April Jiggle stated that the bleach blonde, recently divorced senator was asked upon leaving the retail giant to show her receipt for the items she had purchased, which included rain boots, a snow shovel, grapes, thermal panties, and a six-pack of Dos Equis Beer.
The Malwart greeter identified as Tracktin Swanberger, 91, said that when he asked Taylor Greene for her receipt, she became belligerent and said that she was an American and she did not need to show the old greeter diddly squat (i.e. shit).
When Swanberger insisted MTG began to run for the door. At that point Swanberger took out his store-issued taser and he hit the angry senator with 475 volts of electricity.
Marjorie Taylor Greene fell to the floor and she began flopping around like a rainbow trout on a pier.
SIDENOTE: An officer with the Baltimore Police Department, soon arrived and took Taylor Greene down to BPD headquarters, where she was fingerprinted, frisked, and given a full body cavity search, which turned up a twinkie she had hidden in her cleavage.
