Her parents were away for the weekend and she thought it would be a great way to enhance her chances of being elected Prom Queen, so MTG decided to throw a party with the theme LGBTQs. Unfortunately for her, only a dozen people showed up, and two of them were class nerds she didn’t want to be seen with.
Plus, nobody brought any guns or booze, which was kind-of a bummer.
Her social media postings had promised it would be the event of the calendar and everyone from newly elected class speaker Paul Ryan to former President and school badass Don Trump would be there. She had even bribed some homeless guy into buying a crate of Bud which she had carefully disguised as soda and hidden in her parents’ basement one week earlier. She had also hand painted some LGBTQ signs, not because she knew what the acronym stands for but because she thought it might look cool.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t reckoned on the fact that she had alienated everyone in her class with her nasty bitchiness. Even the goth kids shunned her party.
Local cops decided not to break up the bash, since it never really got started. One officer said, “Neighbours complained that the party was crap, hardly anyone was there and there was no loud music. Apart from the angry sobs of some chick who kept playing the song ‘It’s my Party’. And not the original version by Lesley Gore but the 1981 version by Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin, which everyone knows is shite. I bet nothing was broken, there were no stains on the carpets and MTG’s parents didn’t even guess their daughter had thrown a party while they were away. What a loser.”
