LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - After months and months of rampant speculation, the wife of the former fucked up "Golfer-in-Chief" (aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) has disclosed why she decided to divorce the "Trumpturd."
Melania told Anderson Cooper that there are lots of damn, 'fooking' good reasons, including the fact that she is in love with L.A. Lakers superstar Lebron James, but the main one is that Donaldo is a pathological Digisexual.
Coop asked her what the fuck a Digisexual is.
Melly giggled, brushed back her long dark mane, and replied that a Digisexual is a person, a very fucked up person, whose primary sexual identity comes from the use of technology in his sexually-oriented practices.
Anderson shook his head and simply said, "I knew that your husband was not all there. The Turdhead needs to be institutionalized."
Melania nodded her approval as she exclaimed, "Jes! Jes! Jes!"
