CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Noted astrologist Hilly Pendella, says that she has been saying for 11 months that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is going to end up in prison just as sure as Siberia is freezing cold in December.
Miss Pendella said that Trump even called her up back in March and asked her if she felt he was going to find himself in the slammer.
She replied that the only way he will not end up in prison is if he is kidnapped by space aliens or if he flees to Finland.
Meanwhile, Ivanka, who hates her sperm donor father about as much as Ginni Thomas hates controlling her caloric intake, noted that he (Daddy Pervert) is seriously thinking of selling Mar-a-Lago and using the money to hire defense attorneys. ■
