MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has just reported that President Vladimir Nikita Putin has gone off the fucking deep end.
The Commie leader who recently had botox done on his tongue says that he will soon be nuking four cities; Paris, London, Tokyo, and Kalamazoo (Michigan).
When asked why Kalamazoo? The Russian dictator replied because he used to date a girl who lived in Kalamazoo (Helena Dangolini) and she mentioned to the news media that Putty had a tiny, itty, bitty "Putter."
Meanwhile, Britain's Prime Minister Liz Truss has said that if he bombs London, then she will have no choice but to bomb the bloody, blooming living shit out of Moscow.
SIDENOTE: The mayor of Kalamazoo has said that he'll believe that Putin is going to bomb Kalamazoo when he sees it.
