The Prophet Known as Boney M

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 18 September 2022

image for The Prophet Known as Boney M
Ra Ra Ras ... Disco Should Never Die

A couple years ago I tried to bring back disco. It is time. Get out those old dancing shoes and glitter them – glitter everything!

I was listening to my old Boney M album, and then their famous song came on.

And O MY FRICKIN GOD! A revelation hit – and hit hard!

I hate to slander the good name of Boney, but what did they know? Who told them? Were they prophets, messiahs – some kind of alien rock band who sang about WHAT WAS TO COME in the 21st Century.

Ready for what I saw and heard on the album (you already know this, but now NOW in this day and age it has taken on so much more meaning.)

RA RA RAS … PUTIN …

See?!!! Rasputin!

Is Vlad Putin the resurrected freak who couldn’t die easily – lover of the Russian queen? Is Putin the Russian Queen and will he now set up a royal Russian monarchy, wanting the old Russia back before the Soviets marched the king and queen into an unknown forest …

RA RA Rasputin … was Boney M cheering Putin on? So many questions! Break out your old albums and tell me I’m crazy!

Better not resurrect disco at this time, too volatile. Boney … wherever you are … I tip my hat. I’ll be listening to more of your music for clues about what is soon to come in the near future.

According to Wikipedia: here’s their discography (see what you can foretell from it):

Take the Heat off Me (1976) – climate change? Already happening!
Love for Sale (1977) – oh my! The imagination runs wild!
Nightflight to Venus (1978) – aliens? Finally coming to kill us all?
Oceans of Fantasy (1979) – climate problems, global warming, the world underwater?
Boonoonoonoos (1981) – WTF is this? I’m scared.
Christmas Album (1981) – oh god no not Christmas!
Ten Thousand Lightyears (1984) – time travel? The collision of our galaxy with another?
Eye Dance (1985) – you dance, we all dance for disco – THE RETURN, at last!

And you all said you hated disco! Now who’s dancing?! Pray to John Travolta, while there’s still time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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