Donald Trump Says He's Sorry He Didn't Shred The Thousands of Secret, Classified Federal Documents He Stole From The White House

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 6 October 2022

image for Donald Trump Says He's Sorry He Didn't Shred The Thousands of Secret, Classified Federal Documents He Stole From The White House
"Melania's left me, Barron is infatuated with LeBron, and Ivanka hates my ass, I'm so fucked." -DJT

MAR-A-LAGO - (US Satire) - The man who is now hated by 82% of the GOPers who used to support him, recently confided in his one and ONLY friend a very personal matter.

Trump told Greg "The Rodent" Gutfeld that upon reflection, he now realizes two things. (1). He should not have stolen the thousands and thousands of private federal documents that did not belong to him, and (2) He should have purchased a paper shredder at Office Max and shredded every last fucking document.

Gutfeld, who says that he will stick by his asshole buddy, Donnie Boy, no matter what may come, said that it's not really the stolen federal documents that will get him put in prison - it's the damn gold bars that he took from Fort Knox, (inadvertently) but nonetheless. ■

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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