Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has been prohibited from tweeting, texting, sexting, and even talking on his cell phone. But that has NOT stopped the racist, predatorial, low-life, hate-filled, cruel dumpster fire douche bag.
TWEET #1: I have been watching the Senate Condemnatory Hearings On The Evil Terrorist Assault of Jan. 6. And I have to say that it is all lies, lies, lies. Hell, not even me, the Grand Wizard King of Liars, has ever lied like the likes of Bill Barr, Rudy Giuliani, Michael Cohen, Chris Christie, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and even my former sexy French kissing quasi Barbie Doll daughter Ivanka.
TWEET #2: As I watched the senate hearings with one of my favorite girlfriends Maria Bartiromo, she turned to me and asked me why everybody in the nation seems to think that I am the very fucking devil himself. I told her because everyone in the nation is simply jealous of my charm, my sexy good looks, my Adonis-like body, and my manly fingers and hands.
TWEET #3: Contrary to what everyone thinks that they saw and heard me say on Jan. 6, I did not tell my supporters (i.e. The Proud Boys and The Oath Keepers) to attack the Capitol; I merely told them to take a tour of the Capitol and to say hi to VP Mike Pence, Nancy Pelosi, and Sen. Rufus P. Shitzflicker.
TWEET #4: Another of my favorite girlfriends, Marjorie Taylor Greene called me up and said that if the senate hearings have depressed me, that she would be glad to take one for the team, and come over and give me a blow job.
TWEET #5: I have to say that I really and truly believe that my former attorney general Bill Barr was brainwashed by Nancy Pelosi, Liz Cheney, Adam Schiff, Robert DeNiro, VP Kamala Harris, Ricky Gervais and that no good cartoon-looking loser and traitor Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity.
TWEET #6: I am so fucking hungry, can someone please go to McDonalds and bring me five or six Big Macs.
TWEET #7: Oh and also a large family order of McFries and a gallon jug of strawberry McMalt.
TWEET: #8: Hey Marjorie. Come on over sweetie, and I'll share my McFries with you, and then after we eat them all, you can give me a you-know-what. [WINK-WINK].
