As alluded to in an earlier story, Donald Trump’s face seems to be permanently orange, but few knew the real reason as to why.
Now, Imelda Castro-Guevara, Donald’s personal aesthetician, has revealed the big secret!
Yes, The Donald (how can any man be trusted who starts his name with ‘The’? Eh, The Edge and The Situation?) does sprawl beneath sun lamps and tanning beds and bathes naked in Mar-A-Lago where only the Secret Service can see him (thank God!), but sunlight and tanning oil are still not the true reason for the orange.
Ketchup.
That’s right. Donald has Imelda smear ketchup all over his face and body BEFORE he slides into a tanning bed, where the coat of ketchup is then baked onto the epidermis, layer by layer, so that, years later, a solid pigment of “orange” (or watered-down ketchup) has become Donald’s “natural” skin color.
This may put Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen and other lotion out of business, but that’s only if enough people think Trump’s “orange” actually looks good.
Hollywood probably thinks so, but most people there are made of plastic, so they may wish to have their personal cosmetic surgeons inject some ketchup under their stretched and shiny skin.
All you Trumpers – go for the orange! (That way, we know you’re one of Donny’s oranges!)
