It has been reported by anonymous Trump insiders that Donald Trump said that when gets angry – usually by being accused by a Democrat about something he or may not have done, but probably didn’t, or if he did there was a good reason which was skewed by the liberal media .... [inhale, take a breath, god this man talks!] – he says he does NOT SPRAY KETCHUP all over the walls of Mar-A-Lago.
What he is really doing is making art!
“I love Jackson Pollack, good guy, voted for me, Melania likes him, Rudy, whoever, and I like what he does with paint – just sprays it everywhere, does what he wants, like me, good guy, Melania, I mean Rudy likes me – so it’s art, just art that I’m making, sometimes it could be ketchup, maybe mustard, why not some relish – maybe I had a hot dog and the bottle squirted everywhere, you don’t know, poor Ashli Babbitt, who killed her, we may never know, CNN is fake news, deflect deflect, I did nothing wrong, it was just ketchup.”
Reporters are still trying to decipher exactly what Trump was talking about, but some have proposed a theory that the real reason why Trump is permanently orange is not due to constant sun-tanning like a beached whale at Mar-A-Laugho .... sorry, typo there, -Lago ... but it’s really caked-in and baked-in ketchup which Trump smears on his face daily to give himself a healthy glow before roasting under heat lamps and sun-tanning beds in his bedroom, office, bathroom, and at every golf course.
Soon he may not be able to suntan, but they do have ketchup in prison, so he may have to fight for enough ketchup packets to cover his entire face. His body, however, may have to remain resembling that beached whale.
(Side note: Jackson Pollock did not “spray” ketchup or paint on his canvasses, he dripped paint onto them. That was why they were called “drippings”. Also, Pollock could not have possibly voted – legally, anyway – for Trump since the painter died in 1956, long before Trump was spraying ketchup.)
