Black Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas' White Wife Is Divorcing Him Because Of His Obsession With Ebonics

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 27 June 2022

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One of these Supreme Court judges insists that he looks black, but he's really 100% white.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Black Supreme Court justice who insists that he's really white has just been shocked out of his black judge's robe.

Clarence Leroy Thomas, who is 74, but looks 94, has just found out from his landscaper, that his wife of 35 years, Gina Tina Muckity-Thomas, has filed divorce papers with the Baltimore Department of Divorces.

The divorce statute states that Ms. Muckity-Thomas has gotten fed up with the fact that Claro, as she calls him, is constantly speaking in ebonics, but at the same time he swears that he isn't really black, and that his father was born in Finland and his mother was born in Greenland.

Thomas recently told Anderson Cooper that he does not like the NBA, rap music, grape soda, Kevin Hart movies, moon pies, Beyonce, hip hop music, and Ripple Wine.

Meanwhile, 'Boom Boom News' is reporting that if Claro Thomas is white then Shaquille O'Neal is anorexic.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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