A 63-Year-Old Grandmother From La Brea Is Crowned The New California State Skateboarding Champion

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 23 June 2022

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Granny Milly is 63, and she has 13 grandchildren and no arthritis, no cellulite, and no stretch marks.

PLACENTIA, California - (Sports Satire) - The skateboarding world has been turned on its head, as the new California State Skateboarding Championship winner is a retired 63-year-old Denny's waitress from La Brea.

Mildred Millabox, told Buckaroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review, that she only took up skateboarding 13 months ago.

She said she did it after her twin granddaughters 16-year-old Lilly and Dilly challenged her to do some skateboard maneuvers like the Bubble Flip, the Camel Flip, The Gazelle Spin, and the extremely difficult Guacamole Blindfolded Backward Flip.

Mildred not only managed to do all of those skateboard tricks and more, but she did them even better than Lilly and Dilly who are both damn good skateboarders.

Mrs. Millabox soon gained the attention of a representative with Jack-in-the-Box, who offered to have his fast food chain sponsor her.

She agreed after they offered her a $250,000 signing bonus, plus a year supply of Compound W, Preparation H, and Corona Extra Beer.

SIDENOTE: "Granny Milly" as she is now known managed to kick the combined asses of over 93 seasoned skateboarding contestants from all over the Left Coast State.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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