In An Amazing Development, The State of Massachusetts Votes To Change The Spelling

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 May 2022

image for In An Amazing Development, The State of Massachusetts Votes To Change The Spelling
One longtime resident of the M state says she is so pissed she's moving to Connecticut.

BOSTON, Massachusetts - (Satire News) - In a vote that is positively amazing and unbelievable the Massachusetts state senate has voted 53 to 45, with 2 abstentions, to change the spelling of the state name.

The full 13-lettered name has been in affect since Wednesday, February 6, 1788, at 3:45 pm, when the state became the 6th state to join the union.

Sen. Henrietta Swordfinder, 56, of Pilgrim Muskett, stated that she voted to change the name because having to write the long-as-hell state name is much too time-consuming, plus she suffers from Indexfingeritis Ipso.

A colleague of Swordfinders, Sen. Bertram F. Glasscock, 77 of Lake Boston Crab, pointed out that the reason he voted to change the spelling is because he has always been super superstitious-as-the-dickens and he hates that the state name has 13 letters.

Gov. Charlie Baker has informed the state citizens, banks, fast food chains, night clubs, and professional sports teams that effective immediately the official spelling of the state (Massachusetts) will become (Massa).

SIDENOTE: When Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora was told of the name change, he shook his head, kicked the dirt around the dugout, spit out some sunflowers seeds, and said, "MASSA? What the FUCK?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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