SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The state of California has decided, after receiving tons and tons of requests, to finally change the name of Death Valley.
The California State Department of Naming, has commented that the desert which is located within the Mojave Desert will be given a new not-so-gloomy sounding name.
The CSDN commented that the valley’s name has always had spooky connotations for those who have visited as the temperatures can get in the HOT-AS-HELL area pretty damn quick.
A Death Valley historian, Micah K. Mishamuck, pointed out that back in September of 1959, the thermometer hit 169 degrees, which is the hottest temperature ever recorded in the USA.
Animal experts actually reported seeing rattlesnakes crying from the fucking heat. It was so hot that day, that some of the cactus actually caught fire.
SIDENOTE: When asked what the Death Valley’s new name will be Mishamuck replied, that effective immediately the new name will be Fine As Wine Valley.
