Marjorie Taylor Greene has former links to a fitness organization, and still loves to work out. Her body is toned and taut and tight, and she likes to keep it that way to prepare for her next conspiracy theory debate with the Evil Democrats.
While working out, Marjorie (call me Midge, like the annoying pest fly) likes to wear tight tights to give her body freedom of movement.
During one session when she was in the zone and pumping it with her trainer (not the ones she has had affairs with – she likes new meat), Midge got a whiff of herself and said, “Damn! I smell good!”
Then an eyewitness at the gym said, “And then she licked her armpit. And then smiled. I could almost see the light bulb go on over her head. I had to rush to the bathroom to vomit.”
That was the moment when Midge had a new idea for a great product that no one has ever thought of – until now!
Bottle it, wear it like perfume or cologne, grease your axels with it ... Midge’s “Armpit Sweat” ™.
Advertising states: “When Midge works out, you won’t be able to get enough of her delicious stank!”
The Armpit Sweat runs about $25 US for a 30 mL bottle, but Midgey wouldn’t be a true capitalist if she didn’t offer something extra – for connoisseurs of stenches.
For a whopping $200 for a 1.5 mL bottle, you can get Midge’s exclusive “Vagina Sweat” ™ .
That’s right, if you’ve got the money honey, you too can sample what’s going on between those hard thighs as “The Greene Machine” pumps iron and does a hundred squats and really opens up those cheeks and labia to let fly a bouquet aroma of vagina, ass, girl sweat, and right-wing QANON batshit craziness!
If you don’t have a vagina, you’ll want hers. And if you do, hers is better! Wanna fight about it? Midgey will take on all cummers!
