BALTIMORE, Maryland - (Satire News) - Info guru Andy Cohen has just announced that the most hated politician in the nation will be going under the knife to have a tongue transplant.
Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is 47, but looks 67, was informed by her physician that a 104-year-old male donor has been found, who is willing to give her his tongue.
The individual named Matt Whisperface of Baltimore, says that for the past three years, he has probably only uttered about 38 or so words.
His wife, Matilda "Cheeks" Whisperface mentioned that Matt speaks four languages, but it doesn't do him any fucking good since he only says about 13 words a year.
Meanwhile Andy Cohen talked with Mr. Whisperface and told him that Marjorie Taylor Greene was so happy that she wants to give him a bunch of kisses.
Mr. Whisperface replied, "No FUCKING thank you!...I'm good."
