WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Jen Psaki has just announced that President Biden will be traveling to Ukraine within the next few days.
Psaki, whose name is pronounced "Saki," like the Japanese drink, pointed out that traveling with POTUS will be the first lady, Dr. Jill Biden, Dr. Anthony Fauci, honorary advisor Robert De Niro, hip hop artist Yo Yo Afro Woke, and Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve.
The president plans on giving Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a check for $821,903,205, to help purchase much-needed supplies and munitions such as bread, onions, bullets, pretzels, wine, grenade launchers, and ketchup.
President Biden will also appear on Ukranian National TV and appeal to Russia President Vladimir Putin to stop acting like a motherfucking spoiled piece-of-shit dick and get the fuck out of Ukraine before he (Biden) unleashes a dozen or so missiles at downtown Moscow. ■
