AUSTIN - (Satire News) - Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas is hated by more Texans of all political parties, religious religions, and even atheistic atheists than anyone in the history of US politics.
Abbott, who looks like an eggplant emoji, recently told a reporter with Galveston's Channel 703 Eyewitnesser News, that he is planning on ending the Texas food stamp program and putting all the millions of dollars into the "Build My Boyfriend Trump's Wall" fund.
A group of anti-Abbotters from Amarillo will be traveling down to Austin and plan to steal his wheelchair, and give it to a much more deserving individual who is not a dick-looking douche bag.
Meanwhile a 103-year-old still-practicing Louisiana voodoo woman, Hattie Zolinda LaFleur, from Lafayette, Louisiana, has been hired by the Corpus Christi, (Texas) Chamber of Commerce to see if she can cast a spell on Abbott that will turn the racist shithead into a Chupacabra. ■
