Las Vegas Oddsmakers Say Beto O’Rourke Will Win In A Landslide Over Texas Governor Greg Abbott

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 4 January 2022

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Beto O'Rourke For Governor of Texas

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Great news for the decent, law-abiding, non-racist citizens of Texas is that the oddsmakers in Vegas have Beto O’Rourke of El Paso, clobbering Gov. Abbott of Hell! In the upcoming Texas governor’s race.

O’Rourke who came very close to kicking Ted “The Human Hemorrhoid” Cruz’s Nazi ass last year has been given 13 to 1 odds of crushing old “Egg Plant Face” Abbott like a bowling ball crushing a potato chip.

The Vox Populi News Agency has stated that the only people who will vote for Abbott are Republicans who still think that the earth is flat, who still think that beer is one of the four basic food groups, and who totally believe that GOP Senator Lindsay Graham isn’t a side saddle-riding sissyboy.

SIDENOTE: A worker with the "Beto O'Rourke For Governor of Texas" election campaign says that when Beto kicks Abbott's bigoted, racist, douche-bag ass, he will sign a 'Governor's Executive Order" which will deport Abbott bask to his birthplace of Gesundheit, Germany.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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