Williams Lake, B.C. - Residents and vacationers may never want to return to this little piece of Canadian heaven.
"There were body parts spread all over the beach. We had to rush the kids back to the cabin, absolute carnage. It was disgusting."
Park rangers say they have received several reports of dog like animals hiding behind trees in the park, scaring people.
"At first, we thought maybe the park patrons were eating mushrooms again...but this? Unbelievable."
A family friend was kind enough to travel to Canada and identify the remains.
"Most of the family members are too old to travel. Dental records were no help to anyone...some kid ripped out her broken teeth for the tooth fairy, what a haul. Kid made bank. Other people's kids, right? I said, yeah that's her. She had a neck tattoo. I once thought, what a shit place for a tattoo."
Veterinarians think that maybe a herd of wandering poodles mated with wild bear cubs.
"This is the only explanation that makes no sense, yet some sense. Beats out the woodchipper theory anyway."
