Joe Rogan to join Julian Assange at Belmarsh Prison

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 8 February 2022

image for Joe Rogan to join Julian Assange at Belmarsh Prison
Remember "This summer I hear the drumming. Four Dead in Ohio"?

Mr. Rogan's recent problems have once again stirred the rumor mill inside the Washington Beltway.

The Brits are cooperating with a request to extradite Rogan to the UK and shut off his apologies for being crude in his broadcasts.

Having delivered their preferences to Spotify, Neil Young and associates have responded, “Anyone who has a record of using the n-word and other such indecencies definitely belongs there. Clearly, we don't.”

Attorneys-general and such authorities from the early seventies, when these musicians were at their peak, have not been found for their opinion on this matter, but one elderly reporter from that time recalls:

“At that time they were part of a massive musical movement condemning The Establishment. Certainly they belonged at Belmarsh then.”

Times change and money talks.

Judge Baraitser in the UK has responded: “We have a very nice cell for Mr. Rogan, plus all the recording equipment necessary for their three hour conversation when Rogan interviews him.”

“He can ask Mr. Assange as many questions as he likes and do his usual probing, which is the main problem.”

“He talks too much, asks too many questions, and has an obscene laugh that really grates on a person, but we'll keep it all—and him—at Belmarsh for you.”

Authorities in the US from Bill Gates to Joe Biden have expressed their gratitude:

“We simply can't have all these fringe medical experts and skeptics of what we're doing broadcasting freely and affecting how people think about what we're doing.”

“After all, we are the experts here. All you have to do is look at the record and how well that's going.”

“Lockdowns, experimental vaccines that last a few months, booster shots, mandates, passports, and masks have clearly controlled the viruses.”

“Otherwise, wouldn't we all be dead?”

“Those who don't agree with us should certainly shut up. For the good of the country and preserving our democratic system.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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