California Mall Bans White Christmas: Deems It Racist

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Thursday, 16 December 2021

image for California Mall Bans White Christmas: Deems It Racist

A Californian Shopping Mall has banned Bing Crosby's classic Christmas melody 'White Christmas' from being played over its PA system deeming it offensive, racist, and 'not coherent' with current thinking.

Spokesperson, Debbie Transmancuntcock, told reporters that the song has been removed from the mall's Christmas playlist with immediate effect.

"Just listen to the words. It was obviously written by a bigot. Excluding all other races from Christmas, just wishing for white people to enjoy the festivities, reminiscing about the 'old' days? Come on. We will not play this vile tune."

It isn't the first time Transmancuntcock has garnered publicity for policies he/she/it has enforced during her/his/that's tenure as manager of the mall. In November she banned the term 'Black Friday' during sales and renamed the event 'African American Friday'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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