BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The man who served as attorney general during you-know-who’s administration has learned that when you lie, and cheat, and deceive, it will all come back to bite you in the ass (and in Bill Barr’s case in his humongous hippo ass!).
The Alpha Beta News Agency recently found that “Old Chubby,” as former first lady Melania called him, is selling used Kia’s and Hyundai’s at Santiago’s Slightly Used Car Lot in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn.
ABNA reporter Mimosa Sabrosa caught up with Bill Barr, who now goes by the name Will Barkley. She said that he has gained around 70 pounds and he has actually developed a third and fourth chin.
She noted that he is now, for some strange reason, speaking with a Swedish accent.
Miss Sabrosa asked the used car salesman if he regrets acting like a complete and total asshole, while he held the highest legal position in the nation.
Barr took a sip from his orange Gatorade bottle and replied that yes, he admits he was one of hundreds of Trump’s ass-kissers, but quickly added that “Old Baby Fingers” had a Svengali-manner of turning grown, professional men (and women) into nothing more than little, measly, spineless weasel puppets that he controlled 110 perecent.
SIDENOTE: Miss Sabrosa asked Barr if he has heard from the Trumptard lately. He replied that he called him back in August to tell him that he is starting to look as fat as Madonna.