Woman finds out she is her own mother

Funny story written by susan allen-rosario

Thursday, 28 October 2021

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"I was looking in the mirror and I began criticizing myself."

Harriet Campbell could not have been more surprised. After waiting for nearly four weeks the results of her DNA test were back...and somewhat alarming.

"I found out I was my own mother!"

According to misery.com the results obtained indicated that she had indeed given birth to herself.

"That five days of hard labor was certainly worth it. I produced quite a nice person if I do say so myself."

All went well according to Harriet for several days then a strange thing started to happen.

"I was looking in the mirror and I began criticizing myself. When did I get so fat? Why hadn't I been more successful? What a lazy lump I had become!"

She said she stop watching television and started playing outside.

"I realized I wasn't living up to my own expectations. Being my own mother brought it all back...I had to do better."

After going to bed without supper and numerous self-imposed time outs, Harriet became weak and disoriented. Neighbors called police when they heard yelling coming from her house. Harriet was found alone with cuts and bruises around the head and neck.

"It was all too much so I had to hurt me."

Police arrested Harriet and charged her with self-harming domestic violence.

She said she will appeal if convicted.

"They don't know what I've been through, I had to fight back!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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