ACME Anvils Identified As Possible UFOs - Director of National Intelligence

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 27 June 2021

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Anvil In The Sky

BILLINGSGATE POST: in a document released by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the long awaited results to an investigation that has studied over 143 reports of unidentified aerial phenomena since 2004 have been released. Although the report does not completely repudiate theories of otherworldly visitations, it does attempt to answer some questions.

Although there is no evidence that any of the episodes involve secret U.S. weapons programs, unknown technology from Russia or China or extraterrestrial visitations, it does not rule out the possibility that some of the sightings may have been of renegade anvils, especially the ACME MARK IV, used by the Road Runner to throttle Wile E Coyote in hundreds of episodes.

Interestingly, there have been countless reports by Navy pilots of unworldly visual encounters with triangular objects that can hover for periods of time, then seemingly dart in any direction at speeds incomprehensible to earthlings. Although the government still has no explanation for this, Wile E Coyote has repeatedly been bombarded by objects that fit this description.

Although the ACME MARK IV demonstrates technological capabilities that are unknown to the United States, the fact that these anvils can accelerate without observable propulsion cannot be denied.

To the casual observer, too little data exists to draw a conclusion about many of the episodes. But both scientific experts and enthusiastic amateurs have advanced explanations ranging from the mundane to the otherworldly, and the report did little to substantiate or dismiss their theories.

Government officials were reluctant to acknowledge the potential that the phenomena could be as simple as a hovering anvil; a signal of how unlikely they view that explanation.

On the other hand, the report offers no evidence of a more believable theory.

Dr. Slim: “Sounds like just another government coverup.”

Dirty: “Yo, Doctor. If you can’t believe your government, who can you believe?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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