Apocalypse Now: The Trump Runner vs Wile E Mueller

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 9 November 2018

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a cheap bordello tart attempting to seduce a penniless sailor, Wile E Mueller was trying to reconcile his record of never defeating the Trump Runner in their battle for supremacy. In the Looking Glass war that cast these unlikely adversaries against each other in a proxy battle being fought in the Sonoran Desert, stately Saguaro cacti stand sentinel in an area not generous to fools and miscreants.

Like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, minus three, the Trump Runner rode again. In desert lore he was known as Destruction; Famine, Pestilence and Death would come later. This was only an alias. Wile E. Mueller needed none. His alliance with the ACME Anvil Corporation was well known. Under their umbrella he was provided the most advanced models of gravity powered anvils, the latest being the Super X Double Gravity Anvil which fell at twice the speed of the earlier editions.

A falling Anvil can’t be snared. It may be surrounded, but somewhere it breaks through to keep on going. When the Anvil starts it fall, as the searing sunlight gleams through the Sonoran desert, those in the way must take to shelter.

Yesterday the Anvil struck again. It came down like dyspeptic comet, ripping and crashing through the atmosphere with more speed and power than ever before. Brilliant Anvils may come and go, but the Super X could take its place in front of them all.

But in the end, it was Trump Runner savvy and perfect interference that once more brought the Coyote down. It was a marvelous thing to watch. You can’t bomb a Trump Runner unless you hit him.

It is doubtful that any Coyote in history could have defeated the Trump Runner. The Coyote has no cause to gloom over his showing. He played a superior opponent with more brains and guile.

Those who have tried to tackle a cyclone can understand. Cyclones never get tired of winning.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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