Wile E Rouhani vs The Trump Runner: Gentlemen, Man Your Camels

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 23 June 2019

image for Wile E Rouhani vs The Trump Runner: Gentlemen, Man Your Camels

BILLINGSGATE POST: As a select squadron of buzzards flew over the remains of the 63 camels that met their maker in the onslaught of Sidewinder missiles that took out the best and brightest of Iran’s vaunted distribution network, an eerie calm came over the desert. Salamanders, spared from the carnage, slithered from sand dune to sand dune in the middle of the Dasht-e-Kavir, Iran’s central desert,

[The manifest to reduce this failure of humanity to solve its problems without the use of force justifies the introduction of anthropolymorphic figures to this story. Fortunately or unfortunately, they are better suited to instill the depth of character necessary to give the reader a quasi-intellectual grasp of the battle between two forces who haven’t been able to get along since the rubric of religious tolerance in the Middle-East was shattered by the introduction of Islam by the Prophet Muhammad in the sixth century.]

Continuing the story...

Wile E Rouhani looked out over the remains of his once proud camel brigade. Flies everywhere. After years working with the ACME Anvil, his knowledge of Sidewinder missiles was limited. The Trump Runner, he acknowledged, had technology on his side. Not wishing to suffer the same fate as the dromedaries being circled by the hungry buzzards, he diligently plotted his strategy:

“In order to anticipate any possible military action by the Trump Runner, I have ordered my Revolutionary Guards to watch every Roadrunner cartoon ever filmed.”

Signed: Wile E Rouhani
President of Iran

Slim Everdingle: “I’m still betting on the Trump Runner.”

Slim: Yo, Dude. ACME is on his side. He's a MEEP MEEPING Sumbitch.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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