BILLINGSGATE POST: The hostile environment of the Sonoran Desert does not cease, even after the sun goes down. Legends of lost gold mines and the crusted white skeletons of dead miners who stood sentinel over their staked claims while grey bearded vultures picked their bones, give testimony to the dangers that await anyone who dares to challenge this scorched hell.
Anyone who understands the Quasimodo Effect realizes that even one mistake in this unforgiving environment might lead to one’s demise. And that is why there are ten million stories in the naked desert. This is but one of them.
The searing rays of the sun crept over the horizon later than the day before; it was the day after the summer solstice, and the sunlight was less menacing than yesterday’s by a matter of seconds. Moisture was nowhere to be seen, but evident nonetheless. The Saguaro cacti, with thorny arms reaching for the sky, cast long shadows that offered precious shade for rattle snakes and armadillos to embrace each other, free and oblivious to the spider mites who were unwilling spectators to the rapacious carnality of reptiles gone wild; possibly a plus for non-binary casual observers.
And now for the rest of the story:
With rumors in the Beltway that Wile E Mueller was becoming more and more frustrated by his futile attempts to bombard the Trump Runner with ACME-engineered, gravity-powered, industrial strength AKA ANVILS, Wile E requested that the Trump Runner be subpoenaed for his alleged connection to a quasi-Russian enterprise known as the ACME Corporation. A spokesperson for ACME stated that its chairman, Vladimir Putin, requested that all complaints regarding the accuracy of these anvils be processed through their Notary Sojac In Washington.
The Trump Runner’s response by Twitter:
MEEP MEEP! Wile E...You sorry POS. No matter how hard you try, you will never catch me.