Trump U Commencement, Mike Lindel: "Let's all be Trumps!"

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Wednesday, 26 May 2021

image for Trump U Commencement, Mike Lindel: "Let's all be Trumps!"
Trump U. Commencement: "Let's all strive to be Trump-like!"

At what reportedly was the 21st commencement at Trump University, commencement speaker Mike Lindell gave an emotional, effusive 2 1/2 hour speech, mostly focussing on the exploits of former president Trump, his greatness in becoming "America's best president ever and the best role model you'll ever see!"

A bit later he also said Trump was "The very best this country has to offer". Lindell covered highlights of Trump's entire presidential run and the four years of the Trump administration. He gave very specific details on all the results of the 2016 primaries as well as the minute by minute returns on Election Night 2016.

He ended with a diatribe aimed at "the enemies of goodness and justice, praising Trumps courage and resilience in standing up against all the "witch hunts" that were "thrown at him"

The former president sat at the dais with an ironic smile on his face for most of the 156 minute speech. By his side sat his wife Melania. Ivanka, Jared Kushner, Donald Jr., Kimberly Guilfoil and Lara Trump rounded out the honoraries seated at the dais.

Eric Trump was noticeably absent. When asked, his wife said he was dealing with some other important business matters.

Trump was apparently disappointed at the turnout based on his facial expressions during Lindell's speech. He did take the mic for a few minutes after Lindell finished to ask those in attendance "do you miss me yet?" He also threw a few barbs at the current president and a couple of officials from the New York State AG and a couple of judges as well.

A total of seven graduates were handed Trump University completion certificates. One of them, Ronald Barker was very enthusiastic about what he's learned and told us he was going to enroll for an "advanced degree" as soon as it is available. School spokesperson Randy Hoil told us the new advanced program will be ready "any day now".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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