BILLINGSGATE POST: Old habits die hard. Sniffin’ Joe Biden’s peculiar penchant for surreptitiously sneaking up behind unsuspecting chicks, putting his lecherous mitts on their quaking shoulders, and then doing a snorkel-less deep dive into the backside of their bee-hives, made him a living legend on the Beltway.
Because of her sharp tongue and spiky red hair, in Mexico, Press Secretary, Jen Psaki, would be called a puerco espin cabeza roja - a red-headed porcupine.
Because the porcupine is the prickliest of rodents, its Latin name means “quill pig.” There are more than two dozen porcupine species, and all boast a coat of needle-like quills to give predators a sharp reminder that this animal is no easy meal.
Alas. Sniffin’ Joe had no idea when the alarm in his codpiece radar signaled that Target Alpha was approaching, and that it was armed to the quills. Circling around her so that he could come in from the rear undetected, Psaki was caught completely off-guard when Sniffin’ Joe stuck his proboscis into her painted hairdo.
Suddenly her natural instincts took over. Her hair turned into spikes, and Joe’s nose was toast. It took two hours for the ER Surgeon at Walter Reed Hospital to remove the quills from his snozzle.
Dr. Slim: “Is there a lesson to be learned here?”
Dirty: “Yo, Doctor Dude: Always wear your face mask and keep six feet away from porcupines.”