Peculiar sound over Washington DC extending with experts still baffled

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 24 February 2021

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Spokespersons for the pharmaceutical industries report they are pleased with Government Solutions at this time

A sound in the small hours of the night many people are now discussing seems to be extending rather than reducing.

Reported first as located directly over the White House, it has spread throughout the country and into Alaska.

Analysts working on the nature of this noise have run through several theories as to what it is.

*The sustained baaaing of sheep seemed at first the answer, given the popularity of various vaccines in dealing with the covid and its “variants”;

Still, however, a third of Americans are not sure, given all the adverse reactions, plus public declarations the vaccines are only “92% to 95% safe.”

Five percent not safe would include some 17 million Americans who might suffer adverse reactions, such as granny dying moments after getting the jab.

This baaaing noise theory was dismissed, especially after Mr. Biden declared the vaccines “perfectly safe.”

But some ask, “How can 95% be perfectly safe? Why not 100% instead of some fraction thereof?”

*Next, the sound was thought to be sustained groaning not from above but below somewhere, perhaps the crypts of Founding Fathers such as Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.

Could it relate to the First Amendment--the right to speak critically versus automatic obedience to misfits and incompetents who happen to attain public office?

Might questioning the OPN (Officially Preferred Narrative) on covid death numbers, case accuracy, who it mostly affects and doesn't affect, have aroused idealists of 1776?

But again this theory was dismissed, because the dead can emit no sounds, despite advances in cryonics and dead people voting.

*Currently, the sound seems to begin with a certain resonance suggesting the words muck, duck, snuck, buck, schmuck, or even that legendary epithet FUCK.

Followed by ewe, blue, screw, new, few, or (with increasing support for this interpretation) YOU.

Whether the sound is increasing is the next problem for Washington, with the President, Congress, and Democratic Governors calling for an Emergency Conference.

Perhaps the Republic needs a new STFU variation on The First Amendment, as with—

The First Amendment Form B:

“Congress shall make no law . . . abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble . . .[/]

Unless:

STFU Clause A:

"the preferred narrative is being severely questioned"

STFU Clause B:

“. . . shouting fire in a crowded theater/national emergency/sedition and unpatriotism can be used to raise approval ratings with JQ Public."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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