Senator Ted Cruz drew the ire of the famed climate activist Greta Thunberg today, when he condemned the US's re-entry into the Paris Climate Accords. Ms. Thunberg, who should be in school right now, told Senator Cruz, who shouldn't be in Cancun right now, that the US is welcome to return to the agreement. With Ms. Thunberg's blessing, the US can now rejoin the agreement knowing that the teenager who runs our world climate policy and is almost certainly not in school right now, is behind them.
In other news, Gavin Newsom signed an executive order shutting down the recall effort. In a speech for the Newsom Administration, a spokesperson called the decision "hard" and "unfortunate" but "necessary to protect the health of millions of Californians." According to a statement from the administration, "the recall effort threatens the safety of every Californian. If Newsom is recalled, many of the draconian measures protecting Californians will come to an end, and people will inevitably die. Therefore, it is necessary to protect the people by keeping Supreme Leader Newsom in office indefinitely." According to our sources, the 2022 Gubernatorial Election in California has also been closed out of vigilance for public health.