Obama's New Book: George Clooney And Lindsey Lohan Sharing The Lincoln Bedroom With Harry Maguire

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 21 November 2020

image for Obama's New Book: George Clooney And Lindsey Lohan Sharing The Lincoln Bedroom With Harry Maguire
Obama promoting his book

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a gossipy chapter of Barack Obama’s new book, The Promised Land, Obama recalls that George Clooney was without a date for the White House Correspondent's Dinner because Stacy Keibler had stiffed him at the last minute.

The handsome actor, sipping on red wine, was seated at the very front of the Washington Hilton ballroom at the TIME table, along with Steven Spielberg and other big shot Hollywood donors. The raucous ceremony is held every year, and this year was highlighted by Jimmy Kimmel roasting the President with one liners.

One of Obama's chief Hollywood fundraisers, the affable Clooney spent the evening smiling and blowing kisses to the Obamas, even laughing when Barack told the adoring crowd that the filet they were devouring came from the tenderloin of a Pit Bull.

After the dinner was over, the President introduced George to Lindsay Lohan. Noting that both were without dates, Barack Obama cupidly suggested that the two of them stay overnight at the White House, in the Lincoln Bedroom. Since both had gotten a little housed during the long dinner, and didn't wish to press their luck driving back to their hotels, they thought it a wonderful idea.

After readying themselves for bed, they were startled to see a portrait of Manchester United’s Harry Maguire, staring down at them from the wall directly over the foot of Lincoln's bed.

Needless to say, neither George or Lindsay felt amorous with Harry Maguire watching over them, and both said that the evening together was uneventful.

Slim: “Who the f*ck is Harry Maguire?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. He’s an English professional footballer. A favorite of Monkey Woods.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more