Buddhist Smugly Reflects that at Least He Has the Present Moment

Written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 14 April 2020

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As Buddhist Josh Foster put it, "Present-moment stock is on the rise right now. And boy, am I cashing in."

While others panic over lurking viruses, climate chaos, and the collapse of the economy, long-practicing Buddhist Josh Foster of Nashville, Tennessee, smugly reflected that at least he has the present moment.

“I try not to throw it in people’s faces,” said Foster of his unwavering focus on the here and now. “But it is kind of my ace in the hole these days.”

Foster went to on to explain that, naturally, he, too, feels grave pessimism and even despair as to the prospects for the human species – but, fortunately, unlike others clinging to a questionable future, he himself remains firmly planted in the present.

“I feel so bad for people who were actually looking forward to things,” he said. “I stopped doing that eons ago.”

And while others huddle at home, fearful of picking up coronavirus or something even worse, Foster has been reveling in outdoor walking meditation, enjoying the naked sensation of air flowing into and out of his lungs, unhampered by mental or physical hindrances like greed, hatred, delusion, or a face mask.

"This is my time. In fact, this is our only time." Foster chuckled. "To put it another way, present-moment stock is really on the rise right now. Fortunately, I bought in a long time ago. And boy, am I cashing in."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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