President Trump Announces That the Protestors’ New Weapons of Choice are Now Cans of Goya Beans

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 September 2020

image for President Trump Announces That the Protestors’ New Weapons of Choice are Now Cans of Goya Beans
A White House insider said that Trump was paid $1.3 million for his Goya products commercial.

ANNAPOLIS, Maryland – (Satire News) - The President was in Annapolis getting fitted for a brand new toupee, when he stopped to talk to a reporter with The Right Coast Revue.

Tilapia Frisbee asked him when the hell he was going to release his damn tax returns. Trump turned as red as a Shanghai strawberry.

He quickly deflected, and remarked that the protestors are now starting to use Goya Bean Cans as their new weapons of choice.

POTUS said that the bean cans are a lot cheaper than bricks, apples, golf balls, and Oreo cookies.

When asked if he was, perchance, getting a kickback from the president of the Goya Bean Company for mentioning their name over the national airwaves, Ivanka's daddy got a shit-eating grin on his face and simply replied, “Si.”

For those who may not know Spanish, “Si” translated into English roughly means “Yes, absolutely, for damn sure.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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