BEAVER BELLY, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) - Police are investigating a reported incident involving a one-horse Amish buggy and a Kia Sorento.
According to an eye-witness, the Kia Sorento cut in front of the one-horse buggy, and the Amish driver tried to stop, but hit the Kia on the left rear fender.
The Amish driver, who the witness said looked to be about 94 years old, suddenly darted off into the night in his one-horse buggy.
The Kia driver, who was an elderly lady, was crying so much, that her dentures popped out of her mouth and struck the investigating officer on his left eyebrow.
The officer asked the driver if she had gotten a look at the hit-and-run buggy driver. She replied that she han’t because she was too busy screaming, crying, and shaking.
The officer then asked her if she could describe the buggy. She said that she thought that it was black with black stripes.
The officer then asked her to describe the horse.
She said that it was just a regular big, sweaty, black-colored horse. He asked if she could possibly be more specific. She thought for a moment, and softly whispered, “The son-of-a-bitch had a three-foot-long genitalia.”
The BBPD says they’ll keep an eye out for the black one-horse Amish buggy with black stripes.