Facebook 'bites the dust!'

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 23 August 2020

image for Facebook 'bites the dust!'
If you wanna be 'in' with your kids, don't ever mention the 'F' word!

(UNEDITED) Dead as a 'Dodo', extinct, Jurassic, dinosaur, Facebook, has finally 'bitten the dust' among young people who hate anything their mum's and dad's participate in!

A survey completed by Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) has revealed the extent that people below 30 are willing to go to avoid the constant bombardment of crap ads, parents spying on them, and 'Big Brother'. Zuckerberg, attempting to influence their lives with ancient bullshit!

Here are a few of Jaggedone's CIA findings after interviewing millions of global youths and discovering why they hate Facebook:

12 year-old boy from New York: "Fuck Facebook man, it sucks big time, but Snapchat is dope!"

10 year-old girl from London: "I don't want my mum and dad stalking me on Facebook, I'd rather have a 'lover boy' do that! In fact, that Zuckerberg creep gives me the shakes!"

20 year-old male from Berlin: "Facebook ist SCHEISSE, big time man, I'd rather study Mein Kampf!"

15 year-old girl from Delhi: "Facebook, sure is shit, I just love Instagram because my parents can't even spell it!"

18 year-old boy from San Francisco: "I'm fucking gay man, and how the fuck could I keep it a secret from mom and dad if I told the world via Facebook! I did it on the 'Darknet', my type of people, leather and shit!"

25 year-old male drug dealer from Manchester, UK: Facebook man, do me a favor, I only deal via Amazon!"

5 year-old girl from Madrid: "Si, Facebook es grande mierda, yo tengo solamente Snapchat para mi smartphone, muy bueno, Facebook es para mi abuelo / abuela...Adios.

Last not least, 8 year-old Dutch boy from Amsterdam: "Gottverdomme, Facebook is zo 'kut' mijn ouders zijn da, wat moet ik dan da stommekut!"

So, ancient Facebook lovers over the ripe old age of 30! You are so 'out and Jurassic' your kids will hate you if you dare log in to this heap of ad-crap...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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