NEW YORK CITY – MLB Commissioner Robert Manfred is very happy that America’s favorite pastime will soon be back in full swing.
Manfred wants the fans to know that, in keeping with Coronavirus precautions, every safety measure is being taken to insure their utmost safety, including making sure that the cotton candy is mercury-free.
He said that all food vendors will be wearing double masks to ensure that no germs get through and land on the hot dog wieners.
Manfred added that, as an extra safety precaution, all vendors will be required to wear condoms. He smiled and added; except for the female vendors, of course.
The commissioner pointed out that he was thrilled to say that MLB has just picked up one very big sponsor. Hercules Condoms will now be the official prophylactic of Major League Baseball.