Beach bums refuse to wear masks in Bournemouth!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 1 July 2020

image for Beach bums refuse to wear masks in Bournemouth!
No masks big enough for this size...

Police inspecting beach bums in Bournemouth during a 'UK heatwave', confirmed the fact that the bums - mainly female - were really quite attractive. Some were burnt, but many were mainly a nice cocoa-sun-tanned colour.

However, many of the beach bums were failing to keep social distancing, and not wearing masks. Hence, the police asked them all to turn over, accept their responsibilities and pay a huge fine.

This, in turn, led to protests from the beach bums, especially female ones, who 'clocked' the police staring at their sun-tanned bums.

One of them, a cracking-looking Swedish female student, blond hair, blue eyes, and a very attractive, slightly-turning-pink rear-end, told the police to stuff themselves, called them perverts, and refused to pay a penny.

The male beach bums also started insulting the police, told them to fuck off, and that they should, instead, arrest a couple of drug dealers sitting on the promenade wall from who they had just purchased a few ounces of best weed. The dealers sat there enjoying the sight of beach bums having an altercation with the people they attempt to avoid.

Back-up was called for, and the beach bums were bundled into a police van, without masks. Later that evening, a huge protest march was organised in Bournemouth, called ABM, All Bums Matter. It demanded that bums on beaches should be free from wearing masks, because an all-round suntan is more attractive than one with white patches!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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