Jed Blockhead, right wing Redneck, hangs himself unintentionally

Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 24 June 2020

image for Jed Blockhead, right wing Redneck, hangs himself unintentionally
They were not to blame this time, it was the other bunch.

A rather peculiar thing happened in Redneck territory, downtown Buckweed, Alabama, a tiny hamlet lost in time last week. Jed the Redneck was busy removing a BLM sign strung up between a cypress tree and a Kentucky Fried Chicklet outlet wishing to replace it with a Confederate flag.

Whilst stretching too far to the right, the rope attached to the banner tangled around his neck, leaving him dangling above a dusty road. Sadly, the KKK were too busy marching in protest against BLM in another part of town, and failed to save their comrade.

A black, aging blues singer called Walter Muddy, twinging his strings for a buck or two outside the poultry establishment, did attempt to save Jed, but knowing the police would kick the shit out of him and blame him if he was seen at the scene, decided to say a prayer and gave a rousing version of Amazing Grace to passing punters waiting outside, two meters apart, waiting for a chicken leg or two.

The police arrived later, looked around to see if any black people were in the vicinity who they could blame for Jed's unfortunate mishap, but, luckily, they were all at home in lock-down eating chicken legs.

After banging on a few doors, the local police came to the conclusion that nobody saw poor old Jed swinging, or how he came to be dangling there. After changing uniforms into their evening KKK gowns, a torch-lit march was held in honor of poor old Jed Blockhead, honorable Redneck and total KKK moron.

The black fraternity were too busy to attend the march, because they were in the local baptist church singing the original version of George Harrison's nicked, My Sweet Lord. Amen.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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