The Ku Klux Klan Advises Its Members To Use Thicker Hoods and Robes To Ward Off The C-19

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Friday, 17 April 2020

image for The Ku Klux Klan Advises Its Members To Use Thicker Hoods and Robes To Ward Off The C-19
KKKer Atticus Baumgarner designed this recruitment poster using a black magic marker, red spray paint, and a pink crayon.

VALDOSTA, Georgia – The Georgia Chapter of the KKK has sent out a newsletter with some vital info for their members.

The newsletter addresses the concern of the older members, who are becoming a bit nervous regarding the Coronavirus.

One member, Atticus "Dixie Dude" Baumgarner, stated that he likes the idea of the KKKers going to a thicker hood and robe.

He noted that his wife, Wanda Jo, took an old discarded bedspread and made him a real nice hood and robe ensemble.

Atticus said that the robe and hood both look great, and both even have a replica patch of the Confederate flag sewn in.

He did point out that the only drawback is that the robe weighs nine pounds, and smells like chewing tobacco, stale beer, and Absorbine Jr.

The Georgia chapter has cancelled all of its upcoming cross-burning festivities for the year, but it wants all of its members to be sure and mail in their monthly dues, since the KKK storage shed is running low on lumber, matches, cornbread mix, and Johnnie Walker Black, ahh make that Johnnie Walker Red.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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