Trump Orders Hospital Ship to Phoenix

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 24 June 2020

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Port of Yuma, AZ. Special to The Spoof. With Covid-19 cases and deaths escalating throughout Arizona, impacting the availability of hospital beds and intensive care units, ventilators and personal protective equipment, the President has responded by issuing an executive order that would send the USS Comfort from its home base in San Diego to the Gulf of California, and up the Colorado River to the port here.

Naval officials were dismayed, since the river is only deep enough for a ship of that size during flood time. The last time an ocean-going ship approached Yuma was nearly a century ago, when it was caught in the famous Great Bore of the Colorado and carried upstream from the gulf, only to be wrecked many miles south of Yuma.

The White House apparently relied on a late 19th century atlas that listed Yuma as a port of entry, but not a port for vessels. Irrigation canals running west from Phoenix to the Colorado river may have given Trump the impression that the Comfort could reach the state capital, where the pandemic has worsened.

Trump's order was rescinded before the Comfort had sailed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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