DETROIT – The 45th president was in Detroit visiting a factory that produces cigarette lighters for three-wheelers.
He told a crowd, estimated to be about 87 or 88 people, that he is going to do everything humanly possible to see to it that this silly Communistic notion about voting by mail is prevented from seeing the light of night.
POTUS who has always had trouble with nouns, verbs, alliteration, the truth, and women like Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, stated that the Democrats are just trying to cheat and steal the election, just like in 2016, when the GOP cheated and stole the last election from them.
A collective “What the fu*k?” floated across the convention hall.
Trump caught himself, and in classic Trump deflection mode, said that he has dug up a lot more famous Democrats who were actually born in Kenya.
“Like who?” someone yelled from the 14th row.
Trump paused before replying, “Well, there’s Alec Baldwin, Joe Scarborough, Gregg Popovich, Mongoose Maricopa, Taylor Swift, and, oh Don "Rainbow" Lemon for sure.”
The crowd started booing and chanting, “Lock the chump up, lock the chump up!”
Trump, with a puzzled look on his face, turned to his son, Eric, and asked, “Who the hell is the chump?”
Eric scratched his crotch region and replied, “Daddy, don’t get mad at me, and for sure please don’t hit me again, but I’ll bet you a Big Mac that the chump is you. Don’t hit me, Daddy.”