WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president is reportedly so angry at the Black Lives Matter movement, that he has instructed the only African-American on his staff, Ben "Uncle Tom" Carson, to make arrangements to erect a 10-foot-tall statue of Confederate General Stonewall Jackson, one of the south’s most famous Civil War generals, on the White House lawn.
Ivanka Trump, who is in charge of the entertainment, says that she has booked Beyoncé, Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz, Dolly Parton, the Fa Shizzle Chumpz, and Scott Baio to perform at the unveiling.
POTUS says that he will be taking the money to build the statue from the Harlem Food Stamp Foundation, a federally-funded program.
When told by Eric Trump that he couldn’t do that, the President slapped his least favorite son, and reminded him that he’s the friggin’ President and he has more power than kings, dictators, despots, emperors, and even Sean Hannity.
General "Stonewall" Jackson was noted for being victorious at many Civil War battles including The Battle At Squirrel Nuts, The Battle of the Burnt Boot, and the Battle of The Horny Hooker.
The iRumors News Agency reported that Trump was such a fan of General Jackson, that when Donald Jr., was growing up he nicknamed him “Stonewall.”